Under the heading of ‘human nature’ comes lying. Humans lie. Period. Big lies, small lies, lies to spare feelings, lies to spare trouble.

Part of deconstructing human nature so that we can slip into the skin of our prospects and clients is understanding this plain and simple fact of life and detecting when it’s happening to us.

As persuaders, we need to learn to detect the truth in order to open doors which may have previously been closed. You may find, unfortunately, that you regret the door has been opened.

I don’t allow law enforcement officials of any kind nor do I allow prosecuting attorneys to attend my trainings because of the information that is (in part) in this article.

It’s a double edged sword. Knowing a person is telling the truth can be very reassuring. But realizing how often you are lied to can be very scary.

This was once the province of police detectives and murder mysteries. The information, in the hands of someone who knows how to use it, can help choose the more honorable person to hire, detect trouble in the family early on, sort out an office dispute or give you a leg up if you find yourself in the wrong end of an interview.

Expert interrogators use these types of tactics to determine whether a suspect is telling the truth or not. You can see examples of it on television all the time-Law & Order, NYPD Blue-and in literature from Sherlock Holmes to John Grisham.

A highly trained person with these skills is a formidable opponent even if they do not have persuasion abilities. And what I can tell you right now is the following:

The reason I will only give a glimpse into these skills is because they are incredibly powerful and can (and are) used to manipulate. Anything more in depth has to be learned in my seminars and classes.

Here’s one exercise you can use to determine whether or not a person is lying. . .

Step one: You will need to find yourself a willing partner. Sit across from a partner to practice.

Step two: Ask him/her three questions that you know will be “yes” answers. Then ask three questions that you know will be “no” answers. Observe their behavior.

Step three: Now ask questions you don’t know the answers to, but instruct your partner not to to but not to give you the answers.

This part is about paying attention to their nonverbal responses. After you’ve done a few and noted these responses, ask them to confirm or deny.

Step four: Switch roles. You’ll learn something deeper about this if you’re on the receiving end.

This can easily be used with prospects and clients. You can practice when they use the old standby, ‘I can’t afford it right now’. Are they being truthful?

How could the knowledge that they absolutely can afford it help you to push past the resistance and make the sale, despite their feeble objection?