The majority of people have been through a break up at one time or another in their life. Most things we go through in life become easier the more we have to go through them, but a break up is never easy no matter how much you have to deal with it.

A lot of people will desire to get back their ex, especially if there were strong feelings, or love in the relationship. If you were exposed to physical or verbal abuse in a relationship, then you would be better off to let it end and not seek to get back with that person again. To go back into a situation like that would just invite the same treatment all over again. Consider yourself lucky to be out of the relationship.

Otherwise, most relationships seem to follow a predictable pattern. Initially when you first meet everything is just so wonderful and new. It seems your partner can do no wrong, and you look the same in their eyes. Later on a certain amount of comfort sets in and you adjust to each other. When the freshness of the relationship has faded and the comfort is still there things began to change. The little things that you were willing to overlook before now start to bother you.

Remember the saying: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words could never be spoken for relationships. After a couple gets comfortable and familiar with each other, the trouble usually follows. This is the thing that tests the strength of a relationship. It takes some effort and work to keep a relationship going. Sometimes when things go wrong, instead of fixing things up, the other person wants to get out of the relationship completely.

If you are involved in a break up situation and you think that you would like to save the relationship, here are 5 steps that can help.

1. Make an apology

If you feel that you have done something wrong you should apologize to your ex. Just make your apology once and then move on. Do not over apologize to the point of looking and sounding pathetic.

Sometimes admitting fault can lead to another argument with your ex. Don’t let them bait you into another fight. If your ex happens to bring something else up, just keep your cool and try not to get defensive. Keep your emotions in check.

2. Talk things out

Take some time to sit down with your ex and have a good talk with them. Avoid getting emotional when you are having the discussion. If your ex does not want to do this, just move on to the next step. If they do agree with this, just make sure that you stay calm and do not get emotional. Be sure your ex knows that the purpose of the discussion is not to level any blame against them.

3. Give your ex space

This step may be harder to do than all the others, but it is very critical in the healing process. If you just be cool for a while, and leave your ex alone it will allow them to collect their thoughts. It will also give your ex the chance to start to miss you again. If you are constantly communicating with them, then they will not have a chance to miss you.

4. Show your ex you care about yourself

Don’t just sit around home looking and feeling sorry for yourself. Show your ex that the break up is not the end of your life. Keep up your appearance, go out with your friends, go to movies, concerts, or whatever. Do things that demonstrate to your ex that you are not just waiting around for them like a knot on a log. Don’t ever give the appearance of being a charity case waiting around for them all the time.

5. Don’t be always available to your ex.

It is actually a good thing for you to not be available to your ex at their every beckoning call. If the cell phone rings and you see that the call is from your ex, don’t be so eager to just jump out of your shoes to answer the call. Let the call go to your voice mail and call them back the next day. This may go against your emotions, but this psychological tactic will cause your ex to wonder what you are up to. It will make you seem more attractive to them, because you are not so easy and convenient to them when they snap their fingers. This tactic will increase the chance of getting back with your ex in the long run.